richwhitelesbian:

i used to work at an ice cream thing and people would come in with DQ coupons and i was like “this isnt dairy queen” and theyd get mad and ask to talk to my manager who also told them it wasnt dairy queen

(via chasingthetattoos)

stealthboy:

how many times do doctors need to confirm that lack of sleep is physically and emotionally harming high school students because of how early they have to be up before someone will give enough of a shit about these kids’ health to actually change something

(via chasingthetattoos)

calsbutt:

Michael feat. hair dye sweat

calsbutt:

Michael feat. hair dye sweat

(via lukenope)

vixleonard:

I feel like this photo set sums up the entire series.  The men talk about doing shit; the women get shit done.

(Source: thedailylovejournal, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

earthdad:

me: *thinks of memes*

me: image

(via penis-hilton)

inkedpals:

find someone cuter

image

i actually dare you to

(via tictactoelou)

stunningpicture:

They call him Bagel Jesus. He takes the old bagels from work and distributes them to the hungry on the street. GGG right here!

stunningpicture:

They call him Bagel Jesus. He takes the old bagels from work and distributes them to the hungry on the street. GGG right here!

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

starllex:

mom: did you get your grades back?

me: no

mom: really? cause your teacher called.

me: 

image

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

frienclzonecl:

one time my sister was working at home depot and got called down to help handle an outrageously angry man returning a lawnmower and it was our dad

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

beyoncescock:

list of things to do when you’re sad:

  • eat chocolate
  • listen to music
  • order pizza
  • buy new clothes
  • watch movies
  • masturbate

(via chasingthetattoos)

chlorineblondie:

my hot topic phase never ended, it just kinda got more refined and tasteful with age like a fancy, mall gothy wine

(via chasingthetattoos)

rnackenzie:

hey i used to b uglier believe it or not

(via chasingthetattoos)

officialwhitegirls:

when you correct the teacher

image

(Source: officialwhitegirls, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

robotlynx:

sighnless:

robotlynx:

lmao don’t try to scare me with that shit, everyone knows that skeletons aren’t fucking real. nerds

then explain this

image

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JESUS CHRISTJESUS FUCK

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)